Happiness in relationships

Relationships - whether romantic, familial, or friendly - cannot be taken out of the happiness equation. Many of the qualities of a person are developed in interactions and relationships. A person needs to belong to an institution built by people to survive. People need to be connected to others in order to find more fulfillment in their development as individuals. People become better versions of themselves with the help of other people.

Even scientific studies can back up the importance of relationships in a one’s development and well-being. Humans need to be able to relate to others as early as their infancy stage. Social interaction and well-established relationships are crucial in all areas of a child’s development – emotional, intellectual, social, etc. Children who feel more secure and at ease with the relationships they have established are quicker to develop because they can explore their environment, knowing that they can rely on someone for guidance and support. Children perform better in academic and extra-curricular activities when they are well-connected with their teachers, peers, and parents.

There are also studies that show that the happiest people are those that are engaged in close relationships with their spouse, family, and friends. They feel a great sense of belonging, which is really important in happiness.

People with good relationships also live healthier, happier, and longer lives.

One cannot talk about happiness without including relationships. Wherever you may be and whatever you may become, the importance of good relationships cannot be emphasized well-enough. Since human beings are social creatures, it is almost automatic that they will engage in relationships and social interactions. However, building good relationships takes conscious effort. It is not only the presence of relationships that will determine your well-being; strained relationships do not contribute to happiness.

In order to achieve genuine happiness, you must engage in genuine relationships as well. You have to nurture your relationships with your partner, spouse, parents, children, relatives, friends, co-workers, and even acquaintances.

Expectations



Not many people realize that many relationships fail because of unmet expectations. Expectations are normally associated with romantic relationships but they are also prevalent in other relationships. No one can completely do away with relationships. When you establish a close relationship with someone, you are obliged to do certain things for and with that person. For instance, a mentor is expected to provide guidance to a student. An elder brother is usually tasked to look out for his younger siblings. Expectations are not a completely bad thing because it partly gives definition to a relationship.

Expectations in a relationship become toxic when they are set too high. In a romantic relationship, there are certain expectations that should come naturally. You should expect love, affection, companionship, and support. However, there are some couples with unrealistic expectations for each other. There are girlfriends or wives that expect their husbands to drive for them wherever they go. Some boyfriends and husbands expect their partners to take care of them the way their mothers do. While it is not bad for partners to oblige to personal expectations, it shouldn’t be taken against

another party if some expectations are not met. In the first place, the involved parties should be clear with each other on expectations.

Unrealistic expectations are also visible in other relationships. Some parents expect their children to take up a career path of their choice. Perhaps, a career that is one of the mother’s or father’s biggest frustrations. There are people that expect their best friends to be available for them 24/7.

Again, expectations are perfectly normal in relationships. But people should remember that others also have lives beyond a single relationship. You should not also expect another person to be responsible for your happiness. Your relationships are crucial to your happiness but how it makes you happy is completely up to you.

Communication, Communication, Communication



No relationship can ever survive without open and proper communication. This is the unifying factor in all kinds of relationships. There can be diverse personalities in a relationship yet it can still stay strong when the parties involved communicate properly. The quality of communication should be an investment in any relationship. Different people respond to different types of communication techniques, although there are general rules that apply to most relationships. In dealing with differences (which is inevitable), communication will help bring down the barriers and reach a compromise.

In order to establish open communication lines, there should be genuine interest to stay involved in each other’s lives. It is a very simple but important rule. There must be a desire to relate to one another in order to encourage the other person to open up, even if there are visible differences. In a mother and son relationship, the mother must try to show the slightest interest in dinosaurs and superheroes even if she does not know anything about them. By doing this, she and her son have something to talk about. The son will also be more open and comfortable with his mother.

Conversations are very important in a relationship. You need to engage in quality conversations to nurture the relationship. Show real interest in your

conversations and always strike a balance between listening and talking. Always pay attention to the person talking and provide undivided attention as much as possible. Ask questions if you must, but be judicious in asking. Ask questions that are sensible and show your genuine interest in the topic. But before you ask questions, make sure that the person is already done talking. Many fights start because one person interrupts the other during a conversation.

Sensitivity is important in communicating with other people. Knowing what to say, what not to say, and how to say things are very important in any relationship. As other people would say, there are some things better left unsaid. There are also ways of saying sensitive things in an appropriate way. Sensitivity and tact are things that cannot be taught completely in one sitting. It requires experience in interaction.

The best and safest way to be sensitive in your relationships is to always question your assumptions. Be transparent as much as possible and always ask questions if you need to clarify anything. If you want something, do not assume that the other person already knows what you want or what you are thinking. Not all people have psychic abilities. Maintain transparency , trust, and honesty in your relationships, especially when you get into conflicts and you have to deal with your differences.

In dealing with conflicts, do not attack the person. Instead, express how you feel with his or her actions. Attacking a person is the perfect way to build grudges and resentment, two of the most powerful weapons in destroying relationships. Focus on the problem at hand and do not drag other issues into the conversation. Be respectful at all times, taking care not to scream, curse, or raise your voice at the other person. Focus on finding a compromise or a solution instead of playing the blame-game. Finally, learn how to apologize if necessary. It is this important element that is missing in many kinds of relationships. If you have been hurt, be vocal about it appropriately. If you have hurt someone, swallow your pride and apologize.

Contributing to Another’s Growth



In a meaningful relationship with anyone, it is not enough to be generous and agreeable. The best relationships flourish when two people are involved in each other’s development and improvement. Therefore, you should be responsible enough to be a "police" if you see your spouse, parent, child, sibling, relative, or friend doing the wrong thing. Many people fail in this part for fear of starting a fight and ruining the relationship permanently.

Keep in mind that when you are watching out for someone else’s back, it does not mean that you have to make the decision for that person. The exception would be a parent-child relationship, where children still do not have the sufficient ability to make decisions on their own. But even then, parents should already establish an environment where children can exercise their decision-making abilities and face the consequences of their decisions.

As another person in the relationship, you should only go as far as letting that person know that what he or she is doing is wrong. Express your concern but do not be judgmental. In the end, you should be able to show that person that you respect his or her final decision. Make it clear that you are only concerned and not asserting moral ascendancy over him or her. Show that you want to help him or her by offering alternative solutions or ways of doing things.

Symbiotic Relationship



Finally, remember that the best relationships are the ones where the give-and-take policy thrives. Accept the support from the other person and give back your support as well. Whatever relationship you are in, show kindness, understanding, and generosity. More often than not, these three elements fade away in relationships that last long because of complacency. For instance, offer to wash the dishes when your spouse just had a bad day at work. If your friend has an emergency meeting while the two of you are having coffee, offer to drive your friend if he or she does not have a ride going there. A little kindness still goes a long way in long-term relationships.

Build memories to strengthen your relationships. Make a commitment with the people important to you to spend time whenever you can. Do activities that you love doing together or try something new. Quality time will help you get to know each other better. In the process, you get to bring out the best in one another.

Nurturing any kind of relationship is hard work but it is the best investment you can make in your life. Relationships are intangible and precious proponents of happiness